He knitted me together ❤

I'm not skinny, I haven't seen my ribs since I was about 12. And so far all my life I have felt less then perfect. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, I have never been satisfied with my physical appearance. Then when I don't try, it just get down right vulgar. The way i see myself that is.

In middle school I thought I was fat. Now when I look at pictures, I see I was so thin. All the popular girls were already developing curves that I didnt have, beats me why I thought I was fat. In high school, is when I lost the size 2 and jump strait into a 7 ,then a 10 then before I knew it I was a 16. Yet I was very active, I was in pep squad, tennis team and the color guard, not to mention everyday after school we would play on the trampoline. So why was I this size? After high school I dropped 5 sizes and its kind of been up and down ever since. Right now I'm on the up. Now that I'm married I wish nothing more then to look and feel great, not only for myself but also for my husband. Yet, since we got married I've only managed to gain weight. I have struggled to look in the mirror sometimes because its not the woman I see in my head. After gaining so much weight I finally went to the doctor. Turns out I "have" subclinical hypothyroidism, that just means its not full blown. While I hear what the doctor is saying and how it's factual because its evident in my blood, I know truth. Truth is God can and is healing me, and of course with me taking action and doing my part to be healthier as well. But it finally hit me, it took me getting diagnosed to realize this is me! I might never wear a 2 or 4, I might always have cellulite and big arms. I have come to realize that I am perfect. Health and physicality always has room for improvement and I will always fight to better my health and stay in shape. But I see now that my biggest problem is not my thighs, its my mind. I must exercise my mind into a more positive driving force.

So, I have accepted this is my shape! I have my moms arms, my grandmas knees, my aunts wide hips, a fluctuating waist line and a big o'booty! Yes this is me and I'm going to love me. I'm turning around all that negative energy and making it positive. I've noticed that the more I fall in love with me, the more I take care of me. So I have now excepted its not about being skinny, being thick or full figured. Its about being in love with how God made me and making sure I take care of the body that he gave me. God loves us all the same no matter our size. He created us each as a masterpiece and now that I think about it, being unhappy with my looks is like telling God his craftsmanship is not good enough for me. and that cant be, after all he did make this beautiful world we live in with those very same hands. Its all just his work of art.

funny thing is my husband likes a thicker woman, so really God planned ahead for me! All this time Ive been hating on my self, when God made me this way to be loved and I am truly blessed to have such a loving man at my side.

So I am learning, to always force myself to be positive when I look in the mirror. To not put down Gods work of art, instead add to it, take what God gave me and make it my own!

Make up, hair styles, working out, eating right, do what you enjoy and what ever makes you feel good, so you can enjoy being you! Don't compare yourself to anyone, just be the best you you can be because your one of a kind! When I finally realized this, it was a great weight off my shoulder.
I hope my story can inspire someone, to take a second look and see your wonderful, God given potential. ❤ God bless!

Psalm 139:13-14
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Slow down...

We all get so tangled up in our daily to do list, we must remember to slow down and enjoy life!

Girl talk!

It's so fun being able to dress up and get ready. I remember playing dress up as a little girl, thinking how I couldn't wait to grow up and do it daily and with real skill. Now that I'm all grown, I realize as much as I enjoy it, it doesn't make me anymore of a woman.

It's important for us to take time out of our crazy lives to spend on ourselves, to me that's my dress up time. Putting on make up, curling my hair, even bubble baths and nail polish. All these thing are precious to me but they don't define me. I don't believe they empower me any, but that the time that I take on myself is actually what lifts me up. It keeps me balanced. When we forget about ourselves we loose track of everything. Giving our selves attention both physically and spiritually is very important. I try to mix the two, when I get dressed I put on my Christian music and sing along. It reminds me that I'm made in Gods image. That I am perfect regardless of what I have on and that's what empowers me.

1 peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

When we look good its often because of how we feel inside. We are loved, cherished, needed but mostly because of how we feel about our self and how we see ourselves. Those feeling reflect on our outward appearance. There's no sense in getting all dolled up with a bad attitude or self loathing. No matter how pretty on the outside, no one will want to be around you. I know this from experience. Like the verse above says we should have a gentle and quiet spirit. That should also be towards ourselves. Yet a lot of the times we tend to judge ourself the hardest. Don't let your mind be your worst enemy, see your self through God's loving eyes. Feel good about being you. Curl your hair and blush your cheeks but know that your beauty comes from with in, its something God painted on your soul. No amount of make up or brand of clothes, no stresses in life or circumstances, should hide your inner beauty. Balance yourself out, give yourself time to shine. Whatever you enjoy, do it, smile, be gentle and kind. Show the love you have inside and have fun doing! Keep growing and bettering your inner self, it will show all over you.

Next time you put on your high heels know that they are not what empower us but they do keep pushing us forward. ;)